It is a word that we ignore easily. It is right we grew up in the world “don’t cry over spilt milk”. The point of this is that it is pointless to worry about something that can’t be undone. The problem I have is what if we ask a different question – why do we feel bad about spilling milk and why is it making us cry?
The pointless appears only after we have are faced with a result we don’t like. Yes, the popular notion is, if we made better choices we would have had better results. The point is that life choices are not like mathematical problems. By doing something right, there are no guarantees of getting the right result. So, it is hard to know what is the right or the wrong result. To cry or not to cry.
It is pointless
- when you make yourself wrong for the result
- to feel bad about feeling bad
- to think that you will not cry again
My point is know that there is nothing wrong with spilling milk. It is likely you don’t even like milk. So, if you like it, cry a bit and just know only that milk on the floor is gone and you will never have it (but the cat might). Still, it is possible that milk was bad for you. And even if had not gone bad, now you have a chance to find better milk…c’est la vive.
My 2 cents – creating value for the customer is vital.
What is the Deja-vu?
Facebook and Zynga had a torrid love affair and then the market picked who was going to win and who was going to loose. The relationship is epic – the race to cash lowered the barriers to entry for developers,marketers became growth hackers and the disruption continued to mobile.
And here we go again…
Here we are now in a new era of mobile user acquisition, where cash is king. In a world where, big get bigger, marketers with little to offer other than a free game are trying to navigate chaotic world of mobile marketing. Of the experts, most look like digital marketers from the dotcom bubble, recent grads with a blend of analytics,hustle, and creativity, tasked with figuring out something that didn’t exist previously. They are tasked with getting users at low costs -but marketing budgets lack a focus on ROI.
The big question is whether this deja-vu resembles all the me-too, low quality games that came out of social gaming and made money. If yes, we can buy into the incessant love of a business model that defies law of economics. But the real question is, is this again the marketing dollars dictating what consumers find or is it the creativity of developers that make people say “I want that at any price” .
Here is the presentation
There is no dearth of books, people and courses advising us to “bring 100% of ourselves” to our jobs, tasks and relationships. Though it’s very sound advice, it’s easier said than done. As women, we’re often faced with stereotypes about what our “100%” will look like. For example, we’re told that women are “emotional” and “competitive with each other.” Here are some tips to help you bring your authentic “100%,” and avoid buying into the stereotypes.
Continue to read my blog on womenworking.com : Defy Stereotypes and Be Genuine
Many corporations, teams and groups find themselves engulfed in political dramas. The problem with drama is that it is only entertaining on Television. Rest everywhere, it adds stress, lowers productivity and demoralizes people. It stems from insecurity and contaminates the environment, thereby, spreading and effecting everyone in the mix. Seth Godin, recently, wrote an article, emotional handwashing which captured this beautifully.
High-performance is a skill that neutralizes all political drama. It is a commitment to stay focused and insulate yourself from negativity. It attracts like minded folks and builds a strong , non-judgmental support network. It requires taking full-responsibility (no passing the blame).
Results of high-performance – building leadership skills, solid relationships, accountability and self-confidence.
So, No politics – only results!
In honor of National Women’s History Month, I’m excited to announce my friend Helene Lerner is hosting a seven-part Webinar, based on her popular book, In Her Power: Reclaiming Your Authentic Self. It offers groundbreaking techniques that have helped thousands of women step into their power. My story is part of this book along with the others who inspired me. Thanks to Helene for the opportunity to be part of the book and the TV show that followed the popular book.
Below are the seven modules that we will explore, designed to create transformation in your life.
- Your Unique Destiny
- Accepting the Discomfort of Change
- Appreciating All Aspects of You
- Expressing Yourself Genuinely
- Acting with Confidence
- Building a Power Web
- Inspiring Other Women
Each of these modules will give you a different facet of your power. And I am excited to extend a special invite to the webinar that starts on March 24th. It is nominally priced – please click here to register.
About Helene Lerner
Helene is a respected keynote speaker and the founder of WomenWorking.com, one of the premier websites for career women worldwide. The course includes daily support through “Power Nuggets” delivered directly to your inbox.
This morning, I woke up and I saw all these posts on internet on International Women’s Day. The theme this year is Inspiring Change and gender equality. I believe this is a bit outdated. We have come a long way – I believe the theme for me is – Being the change. Being Equal.
Sheryl Sandberg, COO of Facebook, rightly points out a word used for women – “She is Bossy”. And is also correct that there is no such negative term for men. The point is what is “Being Bossy “- is this a woman who says what’s on her mind, mobilizes the team and gives them instructions to get the job done, is committed to excellence in her work. Then Be Bossy!
For me, I always have more regrets when I have something to say and didn’t say for the fear of not fitting in or complying to the outdated stereotypes. I also take the responsibility on myself to break that stereotype – I can’t wait for anyone or Sheryl to come and help me – I say what I have to say and deal with the negative consequences if any.
Theodore Roosevelt said, “It is not the critic who counts. It is not the man who sits and points out how the doer of deeds could have done things better and how he falls and stumbles.The credit goes to the man in the arena whose face is marred with dust and blood and sweat. But when he’s in the arena, at best he wins, and at worst he loses, but when he fails, when he loses, he does so daring greatly.”
Our daughters and the younger generation need to know the labels in the world mean nothing. We are who we show up as – the choice is being a doer or being a critic. My advise Be the doer. Be the change.
Brene Brown’s TED talk “Listening to Shame” made a profound impact on me. She says , “For women, shame is do it all, do it perfectly and never let them see you sweat. For men, shame is not a bunch of competing, conflicting expectations. Shame is one, do not be perceived as Weak”.
I loved this. Simple and profound. Both genders have issues. Just different.
I think the more we try to separate men and women, the more the world will stay the same. As women, lets be compassionate to our own – you don’t need to be a superwoman, you are perfect just the way you are – bossy or not.
For men, I don’t think they need to be strong all the time. That is also expecting them to be superman. Lets show them it is ok to cry! We can do that – Right Girls ?
Happy International Women’s Day 2014.
A lot of people are nervous about “Change”. In our modern times, we have also loaded this word with an expectation . The expectation is if you need to be in style, you need to change. Don’t be in style – because style in only seasonal. Be Timeless.
Timeless is to be able to look at things that never change. Here are some things that will never change:
- To be a good professional – you need to continue learning. The day you stop learning you become irrelevant.
- To be in business – you need to have a vision. Vision is to see an opportunity in the current situation and then jump on it.
- To be an expert – don’t be afraid to experiment and learn to fail fast. There will be a lot of people who will come to you for your knowledge because they will never know the difference between what works and what doesn’t.
Stay Relevant – Keep Learning – Move Forward – Be Timeless!!!
In any association, there is a transaction of energy, knowledge and emotion. Though we are evolved as human beings, human beings are bunch of animals. We have the tendency to behave like the people we surround ourselves with, we model people around us and even imitate the people who are most powerful of the herd.
I am not making this up. There is scientific research behind this – it is called emotional contagion - A broader definition of the phenomenon was suggested by Schoenewolf: “a process in which a person or group influences the emotions or behavior of another person or group through the conscious or unconscious induction of emotion states and behavioral attitudes”.
Think about ten people you spend most of your time with – Do you spend time with takers? Or those who complain all the time? Or those who are self-centered and self-absorbed, or who are just gossiping , then chances are you will become one.
Surround yourself with those you look up to, whose life you want to live, those who stretch you to play bigger and those who push you achieve your goals.
It is not important to have thousands of associations but only those who add value to your life. Clean out the false associations - play in the club of mastery, excellence and world class performance.
Interestingly, this is the conversation with my some of my friends this weekend. In some strange coincidence or maybe intentionally created scenarios, I found myself discussing this subject. Clearly, this topic has no right answers and is left to interpretation based on our personal experiences – it is a timeless subject. We as human beings, cannot imagine living in a world minus “Love”.
Disclaimer: None of these is my definition. I am still working on it. It is just a collection of responses. Feel free to add your thoughts.
The question: “What is Love?”
Here are some answers:
- There is romantic love and there is other love. The romantic love is what is what is referred to as “Being in Love” and the other love is “Our love for things, places and people”.
- The romantic love is a sense of connection. Most likely, it is when you don’t have to speak and other person gets you. The other love is the your likeness, even responsibility and affinity.
- Love is when you don’t expect a ROI (Return on investment)
- Love is self-directed. It means nothing if the other person loves you more or less. You give out the feeling because you get joy from it.
- Love is passion – Passion (from the Latin verb patī meaning to suffer) is a term applied to a very strong feeling about a person or thing.
- Love is trust and perseverance – you share yourself completely and there are no secrets. It perseveres all travails.
- Love is companionship – best friends forever and best moments with special people and your pets.
- Love is a partnership – you enable each other and are like partners in good and bad.
- Love is like a mirror – everything you hate in yourself is present in the other and you have to learn to live with it.
Your thoughts are welcome. Enjoy your weekend!
There are opportunities and then there is money. And sometimes opportunity is to make money. And sometimes opportunity is bigger than money and hence comes with an opportunity cost. As you look into the future and what are the opportunities for you – the important distinction to remember is Opportunity is not equal to money.
Money is a small part of every opportunity. The main thing you need to seek in an opportunity is the freedom to express yourself and feeling valued for your expression.
This is the bigger than opportunity and money together – what is creates is an ecosystem of harmony. In the end human beings are designed to serve others whether we realize it or not. And they feel most valued when they contribute to making a difference.
When you consider opportunities, consider what impact will you be making with your participation.
Note: Thank you Himanshu Jhamb for thinking with me on this.
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With the current globalization and technological advancements, we are seeing an exponential growth in diversity in our world. People are transcending cultures and geographies and are embracing diversity in their experiences and interactions with others. Most importantly, this book is a thought provoking resource for managers and those who work with a diverse group of people, be it in the workforce, community projects, team building assignments, social gatherings, or business meetings.
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